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Writer's pictureKaren Messina McDonnell

Getting Empowered - Is anything stopping you?



Hello All! I am so excited to be heading into a new year with all the hope and possibility available to us.

Well it has been quite a year, hasn’t it? I, for one, am glad it is coming to an end. Now let’s not set ourselves up for disappointment, as we have to realize that the vaccine and virus may take a little while to take effect.

Gosh, the day that I do not have to wear a mask will be the happiest day ever. I mean seriously, I have not been able to wear lipstick since March, lol

Let’s talk about getting empowered.


In the past have covered being a victim, being a survivor and everything that goes with those titles, but I want to move us into success stories, right?

Now someone said recently that being a survivor is a great title, but sometimes it perpetuates the fact that we are always just “surviving” things, rather than thriving or succeeding or exceeding. You have heard people say when asked “how are you doing?”, “yeah, we are surviving”. That sounds so sad……


I have been pushing the survivor title and I probably still will, but hearing that comment really made me think, “well that is true” we don’t want to just survive we want to go beyond that now. We are evolving and moving forward. That is the goal anyway.

Our lives were train wrecks, then we were victims and ended up survivors. We can get stuck on the hamster wheel of survivor mode too, so we want to be careful of that.

I am REALLY excited about the idea of empowerment. It is finally time for us to take back our power and control. To be in control. To be empowered and be in control of our outcomes (good or bad).

No one is ever going to control us again…. Say it with me ladies. No one is ever going to be in control of us or our outcomes again.


Maybe make that your mantra. Write it down and hang it on your mirror so as you start your day, you will be reminded of who is in control of your life.


So I just finished my Live Your Purpose Certification Program with Mastin Kipp and he was teaching us about Flow States.

Being in a flow and staying in flow.

If you have been following me for any length of time, I am sure you have heard me say that the way to heal emotional trauma is safe environments safe relationships and finding purpose in your life.

I want to talk about purpose. Mastin says: “ Embodying your purpose is about creating a sense of Autonomy and Agency”


So what does that mean? A sense of agency is the feeling of control over your actions and their consequences.

We reduce danger, pessimism and doubt and in turn we need to add more safety to our lives and more possibility.

That really speaks volumes to our past, doesn’t it?


When I talk about safety, what I mean is that you feel safe to move forward in your life. That you feel a sense of safe relationships meaning that you know the people in your life will listen to you, respect you and NOT knock you down or make you feel uncomfortable.

Feeling safe is not about feeling danger, in the sense that I am talking about is feeling like you can be in a space/relationship or situation where you feel comfortable and not nervous or uneasy with the outcomes. I hope that makes sense.

Ex. I don’t feel safe with our relationship because I don’t feel like you have my back…..

So getting back to flow states.

Getting into a flow and really feeling safe in our environment and relationships starts the flow in process.

Once those things are in place than I feel like the snowball effect happens because you are on a roll.

One good thing happens and POSSIBILITY appears.

It is amazing how when you feel good and empowered and excited, you do good ….and you can see possibility and ideas come rushing in and opportunities seem to appear.

Now, what are the Flow Stoppers?

Do you find yourself stopping before you even begin?

Are you failing ahead of time by talking yourself out of success?


We tend to self sabotage without knowing its. Failing ahead of time is when you see an opportunity, you want it but then talk yourself out of it with all the excuses from your past that did not work before. Convincing yourself not to take a risk and that you can’t do it.

Flow stoppers consist of:

Indecision

Financial Fear

Fear of not getting approval

Not asking for help

Thinking you can do it alone


These are things that will get in your way. They will stop the flow of progress and possibility. They will stop that snowball dead in its tracks.

Let’s just talk about fear for a minute.

You need Good Fear. Good fear means:

  1. You are getting closer to your purpose

  2. You are addressing suppressed emotions

  3. You are moving into uncertainty

Fear is your moral compass.

Now remember, you can’t do it alone.


You need a Mentor, a Structure and a System. This is the recipe for SUCCESS.


Isn’t that what we all want? To succeed? To be Success Stories and to have not just survived something?


Of course being a survivor is GREAT but now is the time to move one step further into success story.

We are heading into a new year and we need a plan in place for success. You need your toolkit, your plan, your process.

I can help you get there. Fee free to sign up for a consultation on my website: karenmessina.com



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