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Confidence does not just fall in our laps. We are not born being a confident person. Confidence is a feeling and it is a feeling that creates very predictable actions and results. Do you want to feel amazing? Would you like that feeling that inspires action? When you create confidence, you create momentum, movement and action in your life. This is a bit of a skill, but it is worth taking the time to learn.

So, let’s ask ourselves, where DOES confidence come from then? Let’s say that you are good at playing tennis. If you win several times, you will feel confident about playing tennis, right? If you keep winning, you will think that your confidence comes from all the games you have won, but in reality, it comes from your thought about your success in winning at the game of tennis. Your confidence comes from your mind, not from how many games you win. It is how you think about winning that gives you the confidence. The definition of confidence is "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities." On the other hand, you could win dozens of games and still not feel confident if you don’t believe in yourself.

Here is something Brooke Castillo said “Why does confidence even matter? Why is it something that we should strive for, and create in our lives? I personally think that it's very important because with your dreams plus confidence you create the life you're meant to live. Your dreams plus self-doubt create a lot of resentment.”

When you are good at something and you know in your mind that you can do it, you will feel confident about it. It is like when you do something that is simple, like filling a glass of water. You know you can do it, you’ve practiced it many times in your life so you are confident that you can do it. Even though you may have spilled the water on occasion or even dropped the glass, you are still confident in your ability to do that simple task. It is what you are thinking about it, not how many people applaud each time you pick up the glass. Now, try this with something else in your life. Think about what you know you are good at and how you direct your mind to think about it. You can also take something that you are not good at and apply this same principle. If you are not good at being a sales person, but you think about doing that task as if it were like filling a glass of water, how would you think about it? You would likely be more confident and feel like “I got this.”

Finally, write down all of your achievements and accomplishments from childhood up until now. Don’t leave anything out, even the little things that may not matter to you but may have mattered to others. Realizing what you have accomplished in your life will help you to understand who you are. The accomplishments themselves won't give you self-confidence, but how you think about them will.

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