This question has come up a lot over the years and it has stumped several people along the way. Is there really a difference? Are you afraid of a consequence in your relationship if you are not being nice, then end up just being a doormat? Do you allow things to happen in your life just to please others?
Here is what I know…… you can be nice and not be a doormat. You need to set clear boundaries for yourself and announce them to others in order for them to be effective. You can also be effective and be nice at the same time in order to establish boundaries for your life. Remember, boundaries are not meant to keep people out of your life, rather they are to establish what you will and will not tolerate in your life.
Always agreeing with others when you don’t agree or allowing things in your life that don’t mesh well with your lifestyle are not endearing qualities. It just shows that you are not being true to yourself.
Relationships in our lives are difficult enough without adding more to them by not being clear on what YOU expect out of your own life. This doesn’t mean that you have to be self-righteous or better than thou, but it does mean that you have to care enough about yourself to protect your core values and self-respect.
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