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Writer's pictureKaren Messina McDonnell

Our old models of self help have been keeping us stuck ….unintentionally


Why have the old models been keeping us stuck?


Mainly because it focused primarily on thoughts and the brain and behavior, not the body.


Now remember, our nervous system has become INFLEXIBLE over time based on our past and our experiences. WE need to help it to become more FLEXIBLE.


The new model suggests that we need to get the body on board, to feel safe and to move forward and to have everything you want and deserve.


So, what has been missing with the old models are two things:


1. A single focus on purpose in life (research shows that it can add up to 10 years to our life)

and

2. To reduce “all cause” mortality – all cause meaning anything that can kill you.


Everyone associates differently to purpose in their life.

Either we don’t know what our purpose is,

Or we think we have one but then we lost it.


You Know your purpose but you are Not quite getting the results.

You Know your purpose but things are Not happening fast enough.

And finally, there are those who Know what their purpose is and are thriving.


So focusing on purpose in your life has been missing in most mainstream modalities around healing and life transformation.


We need to:

Start to understand what purpose is and

Take a Trauma informed approach.


Now there is :

Capital T Trauma – the big bad ones

Lower T trauma – anxiety, depression, ptsd, insomnia, procrastination, ADD


What is emotional trauma?

It is any experience of threat disconnection isolation or immobilization that results in a physical or emotional injury that dysregulates the optimal functioning of one’s body emotions brain spirit or health.

Mastin Kipp NMD (Not a Medical Doctor)


Can you recognize that many of your symptoms (overwhelm, distractibility, stress, anxiety) are still there even though you have been doing all the work? They go away and they come back, they go away and come back.


They very often come back even bigger, especially when there is uncertainty in your life.

The "not knowing" is what causes anxiety for one thing.


Anxiety pops up from fears or pain from your past and/or the not knowing how things may play out going forward.


Emotional trauma is any type of immobilization, stress or anxiety that creates a wound that dysregulates us and our behaviors etc.


Studies also show that every single mental health symptom or being stuck in your life or even chronic illness is a symptom of emotional trauma. These all have an emotional piece.

So, we end up treating a lot of these symptoms with pills or supplements or lifestyle but what we NEED to do, and have not been doing, the emotional trauma portion of the healing.


We need to include a trauma informed focus to our healing:

Understanding (What happened to you?) And what is your purpose?

No modality will work long term without making the nervous system feel safe and having purpose in your life.


When I say modality, I mean things like:

EMDR = Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

CBT = Cognitive behavioral therapy

EFT= Emotionally focused therapy

Yoga

Meditation

and things like that.


So, if you participate in any of these but you are still in an abusive relationship or surrounding yourself with toxic situations, etc. those therapies will give you some relief for the short term but you won’t be able to sustain long term results unless you know these things:


I know what my purpose is

I know what happened to me = (where did it come from)

I feel safe to move forward = (resolving the emotional trauma)

That is the ticket to success.


Combining a trauma informed approach with a purpose informed approach

Changes will then be massive



A good place to start is:

What symptoms do you have?

Are they related to your emotional blocks?

Where are you on your journey to purpose?


If you want to learn more or start coaching with me, jump on my website at karenmessina.com and sign up for your free mini session.


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