What is the fear that has prevented you from asking for help?



I recently read about feeling hopeless, helpless and wounded. Dr. Daniel G. Amen wrote a book called The End of Mental Illness and I am in the middle of reading it.


He talks about feeling Hopeless & Helpless & Wounded and that it can cause anxiety and depression.

Dr. Amen says that depression is a symptom with many different causes. Either having too much activity or too little activity in your brain can cause depression.


He also said chronic frustration causes something called Learned Helplessness. This happens when stress is stacked too high and you feel that sense of loss of control.

You can be triggered by any reminders of feeling overwhelmed, isolated or powerless.

So I was chatting with someone who said she thought she had emotional trauma from her husband’s illness. He became angry when he found out that he was sick and started lashing out at her and the children.

You can develop emotional trauma from so many things. And your children will develop emotional wounds along with you.

It is becoming very apparent to me how many different types of emotional traumas people are experiencing. This will effect your brain and the health of your brain as well.


There is the obvious, an abusive partner

There is childhood trauma from so many different things that could have happened

There is medical trauma from illness that you or your loved ones have been informed about or have been dealing with.

Those are just a few.


Realizing that everyone’s emotions effect them at different levels

You know those people who never let anything bother them? It takes a lot to upset them.

And there are those who let every little thing get them down or derail their life. And again, without a support system, a coach or a process in place to manage these things, you can spiral down a dark hole.


Every person is different and they have had different experiences throughout their lifetime. All of these things effect our brains and our life.

What I would like to do is find out, from you all, what was your emotional trauma that caused your wounds?


What is the fear that has prevented you from asking for help?

Let me start by saying that nothing that happened to you was your fault. And if that is what your fear is, that someone is going to blame you for what happened, let’s get that off the table right now.

Also, just know that you will not be judged or blamed for exposing any of your wounds or any of your past.

Most people won’t judge you. They may not understand how to respond or process it but “most people” won’t judge you or blame you for what happened, no matter what it was.


Our fears are what keep us stuck. The fear stems from the unknown and that, in and of itself, can cause so much stress. What will they think, how will they view me now, how will this affect me going forward?


I felt this way for a long time. I was afraid to start my coaching business with the niche of "survivors." That would mean that I would have to expose that I am a survivor and possibly put me behind the eight ball or I would seem less credible.

But the opposite was true. People admired me and my bravery and my courage for not only being honest with them and myself but for using my past to help others, which then gave me purpose.

You know how when you are chatting with friends and you are basically venting…..you feel better after you “get things off your chest” right? That is very therapeutic. It is like a weight has been lifted off of your chest.

The only problem is that friends may not give you the responses you want or need. They may give you responses that serve them, not you. Having a life coach is a much better solution because a life coach will be by your side, helping and guiding you toward YOUR result and with no bias or past familiarity with you. No judgement of things “you’ve always done before”.

So I am very excited to tell you that I, with the help of some incredible women, am starting a MOVEMENT to help women survivors regain their power and control.

I want women to realize that they don’t have to live in this perpetual state of lack and hopeless/helpless mindset. This thought “I am wounded, therefore I cannot succeed” must be squashed.

I was there, I felt those feelings but damn it, I got so sick of it and I made some serious, positive changes in my life. I took charge and dug my heels in as to what I would and would not allow into my life, my circle, my boundary that I have set up.


Oh it is challenging trust me …. nobody is saying that it is easy but what is better, sitting in despair every day or doing the hard work to make your life better and to make it more about your needs and less about everybody else’s needs?

We all know that as women we tend to do this, we put everybody first, ahead of ourselves.

But you know what? Sometimes that is a survival mechanism where we hide behind the fact that we want to take care of everyone else so we don't have to look at ourselves and look at our needs and really put ourselves first…. it's just another survival technique that we use to stay hidden.

I want to bust the chains that bind us and tether us to our past and to the identity that we have created for ourselves by what other people may think or say.


We are stronger than that.

We are powerful.

We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.

If not only to live the life that you deserve but to show other women and young women that they have always had their power and control, but just didn’t realize it.

Let’s come together as one unified force and stand strong while lifting each other up.

If you are interested in being part of this movement, join my Facebook group, called Professional Women Survivors of Abuse and follow along with the rest of us.

We are working on providing survivors stories with powerful solutions and real life options for you while living in your day to day.

Karen

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